Domestic Violence: Have a Backup Plan When Things Go Bad

Unfortunately, domestic violence happens every day. Violence between family members is the most common form of violence in the United States. Statistics show that you are much more likely to be assaulted by a family member or friend than by a total stranger.

The situation of violence that is most taken for granted is that where an abusive spouse escalates violence over a period of time in the relationship. The classic example of this relationship violence is where the young woman is swept off her feet by the charming, all-American guy. They fall in love, get married and start to have a family. But at some point he turns against her, focusing his repressed anger and abuse on her. It usually starts as verbal abuse and escalates to aggression and then violence.

domestic violence

In abusive relationships, the name of the game is control. The abuser must feel as though they have control, and when they feel they are losing control, violence usually follows. Many victims of the abuse believe that the violence is their fault and if they just tiptoe carefully around the abuser, things will be ok. But sadly, things never get better with abusers, and many times the victim is murdered by the very person that promised to love them.

The latest example in mainstream news of domestic violence that lead to murder:

In hindsight, in this case the victim had some time available for them to make the escape, while the abuser was locked up in jail. Unfortunately, the victim didn’t live long enough to escape.

In many cases, the victim may have a window of opportunity to escape the abuse and get out of the relationship-gone-wrong. For example, if you have been assaulted by your spouse, and this is not the first time the assault has happened, it’s time to leave. And if the abuser has been arrested and is in jail, the time to make your escape is NOW! Pack a bag, quickly load the car, and get out of Dodge! In many cases, you should be prepared to walk away from your possessions. If you have someone who you trust that can assist your escape, then contact them.

Some things to keep in mind while you are escaping the abusive relationship:

-Try to use an alias where you can (like if checking into a Hotel, for example). Obviously, you must use your real name and ID in situations with the police or if being contacted by governmental representatives.

-Don’t use credit or debit cards; use cash – anything other than cash leaves a trail for your abuser to follow.

-Alter your appearance: dye your hair, change clothing.

-Try to blend in.

-Don’t go somewhere that is predictable. For example, if your parents live in the next town over from where you live and you visit often, you probably can’t go there to stay.

There are many more important concepts to know about escaping from those who wish you harm. has created the ultimate guidebook for victims who need to know what to do in this kind of crisis. It’s called “Disappear in 24 Hours”, and it can be found on our website here: Get it today – it could save your life tomorrow!


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